My Many Dating Horror Stories
Although I can now look back fondly, I have had the experience of causing the destruction to many of my dates. Everyone has endearing qualities, one of mine is clumsiness. I refer to it as endearing, for life has required me to laugh at myself on many occasions. I find laughing about it takes the sting away, a bit.
One of my more memorable dating nightmares occurred many years ago, having been asked to dinner by a charming man. The waiter was just delivering our cuisine when I excused myself, and proceeded to the ladies room. Reaching the required destination meant having to walking the length of the establishment, which included a very busy and boisterous bar. Having successfully completed my trip to the restroom, I made my way back through the restaurant. It was during this time I noticed several people gesturing and looking my way. Needless to say, I shrugged it off as my imagination, and continued to our table. As I made eye contact with my date, I noticed his faced had turned a lovely shade of red. I sat down and started to eat, when he said something I was unable to hear. I leaned in, waiting for him to whisper the wonderful “sweet-nothings” I was sure he would say, and he stated, “The back of your dress is caught in your pantyhose.” I knew there wasn’t much I could. I also realized what it was that caught the others attention, during my previous trip back to the table. I stood up, pulled the aforementioned fabric from my back side, and promptly sat back down. The peals of laughter could be heard down the street, courtesy of my new friends seated at the bar. I smiled, bestowed a sitting bow, and went on with the meal. A good-natured woman and her husband sent over a drink, along with a message as to what a good sport I was. In case you were wondering, I never heard from my date again.
Perhaps I was expecting way too much from my dates or I just wasn’t worthy of them is my guess. Maybe it is destiny that is doing the navigation in my life and god has already marked my companion for life whom I will meet at the right time and place. In the meantime, I go through a free dating app that my friend told me about and regularly surf through in the hopes of meeting the right person.
Another wonderful dating experience took place around this same time. This too, seemed to be a very nice man. I accepted his invite to attend an indoor pool party being held by a group of his friends. This would be my first date with this gentleman along with meeting everyone for the first time. So much for first impressions. We arrived to a magnificent, old mansion where we proceeded into a huge indoor pool room. The area was grandly decorated with huge, fabric stuffed chairs situated around the pool. After being introduced, my date and I feasted on a wonderful assortment of cuisine. During this chapter of my life, I was just starting to embark on my career path, burning the candle at both ends. Evidentally, the wonderful meal and comfortable chairs were too much for my tired eyes. I awoke to someone pushing on my shoulder. Once I fully came awake, my eyes met those of my date. Behind him, each party-goer intently watched the entire scenario play itself out. It was also around this time I discovered I snore when I sleep. Evidently I conduct a session of drooling, as well. The fabric now had a large, wet stain where my tired head had been. Needless to say, I never received a call from that suitor again, either.
I could go on all day, as I have a million of them. The lesson I learned, which has carried me through my life – laugh at yourself. When you see the humor in a situation, especially if you are the center of the activity, be happy you brought some merriment, light, and humor to someone’s day. People enjoy being around humorous situations. My motto is “Never take this life too seriously because we aren’t getting out alive.”
Regards and happy dating.